Sex Toy of the Day

Hi ladies it seems to me that there is a snowballing trend for people of both sexes towards total or partial body hair removal, generally inflicted upon us by what we feel are the needs or desires of our partners. Unfortunately it appears that unless you suffer from some kind of dread disease where all your hair falls out, it does not matter what treatments you have nor what products you purchase there is no such thing as permanent hair removal; unless it is from your head (where most of us want hair and can never grow it back). Anywhere else on the body wherever you don’t want it, it’s never permanent. For years I have been one of the most avid seekers for the ultimate product to produce the longest lasting effect. I have purchased creams, sprays, torture machines and wax, tweezers and laser treatments in my search for this; my own personal Holy Grail. NOTHING WORKS. It always grows back!

I have stood with my leg up on the bath or toilet seat slathering bubbling volcanic hot wax on my most sensitive body parts, then torn it off in a frenzy of self mutilation, causing excruciating agony accompanied by screams reminiscent of the torture of the damned. After which I thought let the professionals do it! So I did, it is just as painful; the only mercy is that it is over so much faster as you are not you own inquisitor. Now you have a torturer wearing a sweetly smiling deaths’ head mask inflicting the torment upon you whilst asking you sweetly, during the course of patting the sting out “are you ok dear?” Ok? You gasp (to yourself); of course. I am not fucking ok! Why don’t you try ripping hundreds of hairs out of your butt hole simultaneously and see how it feels? Then you lie and say “oh no, it didn’t hurt a bit” whilst gritting your teeth for the next attack.

I have used an electric (fortunately only batteries) machine which promised the lure of the Holy Grail of hairlessness and applied it to my “bikini line” which extends all the way from just above the pubic bone, round underneath me and half way up my butt, why is it called a bikini line? I ask, it is more like the Mason-Dixon Line, but it has got to come off in the quest. Applied the pads to my nether regions and turned on the current, how I sat still while this monstrosity shocked and burned away at my wobbly bits, I have no idea. I took the pads off and there was my poor pudding, singe marks on my skin, smell of ozone in the air but the hair was all still there. I have tried laser treatment only to be told, “sorry dear your hair is too light and fine, it won’t work on you”. I have tried electrolysis only to have successful hair removal accompanied by growth I never had before appear next to where I had it removed. I have used depilatory creams that have made me smell like old fashioned home perm lotion for days on end, most of which clearly state you are not supposed to use them exactly where it is that you want to use them “do not use in the ano-genital area”. You name it, I have contra indicated and used it.

I do admit ladies, I am not about to give up the battle for this quest, I have suffered too long and hard already, I am a seasoned experimenter. But I have found that the odd wax is good (provided you can stand the pain) and shaving is absolutely the best; you can shave everyday and I have found by trial and error that a really good way to avoid trapped or in-growing hairs is to use shaving creams and men’s aftershave lotion…only take heed, it stings like the devil if it touches the sensitive parts.

Yours in hirsute friendship

Toni

P.S. Here’s some Shaving Creams at Lady by Day if you wish to try some.